Posts Tagged ‘yoga’

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Hey look… I still suck.

July 5, 2008

I am SO mad at myself for not going out tonight! Oh hey, someone offers me their friendship? Better not call them when I am supposed to. This is why I have no friends. I am still the same dumb old Amber. I have just been in this very homey phase… I guess even though I have been lonely I like loneliness in a way and I have just been enjoying that.

Excited for things to not be boring soon!

No yoga either! I am SO sore. Kill me please! In my mind, it is Keith who drags us down but I am even lazier when he is not here! I will never be bitching about him wanting to stay home again. Haha.

FINALLY listening to Emily Haines. Very good. Much better than Metric I think.

There’s a pattern in the system
There’s a bullet in the gun
That’s why I tried to save you
But it can’t be done

Also I can’t get enough of this stuff. It’s like Asian ketchup to me. I have found it is even good as soup broth haha.

And I don’t really get this. This has been happening for four days and my readership is up, but I wonder why?

Ahh the magic and mystique of the internet.

ps: Who the fuck is Charles Cromer and why is he on my website?

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home sweet trashhole.

May 29, 2008

so… i was GOING to go to yoga today, finally, but then keith offered the option of chinese buffet. regretfully, i chose the buffet. we did vow to never go there again anyway, due to the fact that there was nowhere to look that wasn’t depressing. it reminded me of america [or what i presume america to be having barely been there.] plus be going to a buffet is a pretty big joke because thankfully i get full in about two minutes. actually, being ‘out and about’ in langford today reminded me why i had such negative associations with it from when i lived out here in grade 10. i may have committed suicide if i had to spend grades 11 and 12 here! even as we were in the elevator back to our condo keith said ‘i just want to get out of langford and into our house!’ haha. it serves it’s purpose anyway, and generally when i go out i am pleasantly surprised at the general friendly, non-trash i come across.

in any case, i HAVE TO go to yoga on saturday. tomorrow night i have to go to my mom’s for dinner and sunday i will hopefully be hung over for the first time in quite a while, after brittani’s boyfriend’s birthday. i hate how i am starting to feel like ‘i am so fat, wah wah’ when i have been feeling generally good about myself in recent memory. i blame it on beginning to be aware of my body, as well as seeing all the perfect naked yoga ladies in the change room! in any case, it is really unfortunate, because i seem to be fairly unable to maintain good habits. i will keep trying though! even though i don’t actually control very well what i put into my body, i do think about it, which is strange in the sense that i never did at all before a year or two ago, and now i really think about it.

here are some old pictures [i just unpacked the cord.]

brother

at ferris’…s…s… goddamnit, that is one of those easy grammatical things i will always forget how to do properly and feel like an idiot for. anyway, that soup was amazing, except for it being entirely cilantro-ridden… i hate cilantro so very much. but it has these rice dumplings that were so effing good. that’s right, so good i have to be vulgar and say effing. also i love the mayo sampler you can order with the fries, three different mayos, the thai peanut one is good.

i had to capture the awesomeness of this at the metchosin farmer’s market… because i am mean.

yes, only go out on the strongest note.

the height of entertainment in the…. when is this from? 19th century?

buck 65… before the show started, just before my camera ran out of batteries! so sad.

oh, and in a good note:

Touring musician Buck 65 was ecstatic when he learned yesterday that nearly 100 hours of video footage stolen from his May 8 concert at Alix Goolden Performance Hall has been recovered.

[His manager] said she had almost given up hope the mini-DV tapes would ever be found. Then someone called the office to let her know someone had posted an ad on a Victoria buy-and-sell website for the missing footage.

That someone turned out to be post office employee Steven Sanders, who found a manila envelope filled with the concert footage beside a mailbox on the side of the highway in Colwood. Across the envelope was written “Missing Buck 65 Footage.”

Not knowing who Buck 65 was, Sanders placed the ad with his e-mail address. He also made posters with his son, which he was going to put up around the neighbourhood. Before he had a chance, Sanders got an e-mail from Buck 65’s friends.

“He e-mailed back: ‘Tell me what’s in the envelope and it’s yours,'” Persley said. She then sent him a photo of tapes similar to the stolen ones.

“When the footage was stolen, it was a huge blow against a big effort,” said Persley. “It was big money-wise. There were props, sets, lighting visual effects to create a great show so we could shoot this DVD. It was absolutely irreplaceable and invaluable.”

source: tc

i swear, they must have spent at least like… $350 dollars on that equipment. :P

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ah, guilt, my old friend.

May 28, 2008

i am feeling horribly guilty this week. i just haven’t had the motivation to go to yoga. it is not even as if there is anything i would rather be doing at home. i just haven’t had any energy as of yet… or i am telling myself i don’t have the energy. last night i went to bed at 9.30 with a bad headache and had nightmares. i blame this all on cutting out coffee this week as well. not really but it’s nice to have an excuse other than sheer laziness.

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May 20, 2008

tonight was my first night i actually enjoyed bikram’s. at no point did i have to stop and take a break, at no point did i have my ‘i hate this, i must get out of here’ discussion. i am sure it must have been the nice cool weather this evening, but let’s pretend it’s cause i’m awesome. so excited, i wish it wasn’t going to get crappily hot. i am horrible with my love/hate relationship with summer.

i am so weirdly addicted to soup [when eating out,] tonight i could not get out of dinner before yoga, but i saved most of it for lunch tomorrow. i ordered spicy beef noodle soup at the chinese place, it was really good. really, who am i?

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just when i thought i could do it….

May 18, 2008

bikram yoga murdered me yesterday. it was pathetic. my first class during the warm weather…. [victoria seems to be getting a wet season and a dry season, and the transition occurs in the blink of an eye. i can’t believe how much i struggled. it was way harder than my first class. i hit the wall usually reserved for 75 minutes in about 60 minutes in this time. and this one i could not just rest briefly and work my way through. i lay down and every time i would get up and try to practice a posture, the overwhelming, oppressive feeling of bursting into tears and running out of the room would consume me. i know i shouldn’t let myself get defeated, but this is the first time i have seriously thought, can i make myself go back there? sigh.

keith’s parents are coming today to stay with us… i really like them but i think it will be awkward as hell! must go prepare for that.

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bikram, bikram, you evil genius…

May 15, 2008

attended my third class yesterday. it seems to be somehow getting more difficult. but i believe that is because i have the expectation that it should be getting easier… i mean it’s my third try and it’s not a breeze yet? since it is not getting noticeably easier, especially because i am probably pushing myself slightly harder each time, i find it a bit frustrating. all i wish for is that there is not that point 20 minutes from the end of class where i go FUCK THIS FUCKING SHIT, I CAN’T DO IT ANY MORE! I HATE THIS! NEVER COMING BACK! and i lie through a couple of postures. i am afraid i might never get too a point where i FEEL it is bearable [it obviously IS bearable in reality, because i do not die or run out of the room screaming.] if it is always this tough i don’t know if i have the self-discipline to keep going back. that is the challenge i suppose. it is really the ultimate challenge of willpower to me… obviously everyone struggles at first because it isn’t easy or comfortable. but some of my absolute most hated things in the world are heat, summertime, sweating, etc. i generally avoid these things at all cost. in any case, i have to take at least 20 classes, unless i want to waste a bunch of money… so that should give me enough time to determine whether it really is for me. my neck did not have that strange excruciatingly tight sensation after practice last night, so i must be making a little progress.

i find it amusing how even after i have cooled down, had a shower, i am pouring with sweat for hours after, even if i am cold. it feels like a clean sweat though, in a way, if that makes any sense. i am at least drinking more water than i ever have in my life so that must be a good thing. i should also mention that i feel really, really good today.

the 26 postures aka: 90 minutes of hell

i realized this time there is a clock in the room. which is not a good thing. i held off looking at it as long as i possible could, and finally peeked at 75 minutes into class… those last 15 minutes were the longest.

and i HATE that i am one of those annoying yoga people now. i never wanted to do yoga, but with always trying to keep in mind being anti-trend is just as silly as being trendy, i tried it and found it really is worthwhile. anyway, it’s not like i am forcing yoga on people but whenever i hear people complaining about sore muscles, back problems, i have to mention yoga with the intention of truly helping, because i know how frustrating it is to have chronic pain. i don’t suggest bikram to people even, but i know they must roll their eyes, like i probably would have! i am not trying to spread the gospel of yoga, i am just sick of hearing you complain about sore shoulders!

and i would LOVE to get back to being this tiny!

ah, sweet sweet 2002. actually it sorta sucked and i kinda hated myself… i was an idiot.

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the big two-three.

May 12, 2008

friday i went to bikram again. i was on the fence as to whether to sign up for the 20 classes at 1/3 discount that is only offered when you take your second class. however this old woman who was beside me who looked like she was dying a painful death the whole class [it was her second time too] ended up committing afterwards, so that was the push i needed. i found my second class harder, but i think i may have been pushing myself harder. hopefully it starts getting more enjoyable at some point.

on saturday my brother appeared in town to surprise my mom for mother’s day. we showed up at the farmer’s market she volunteers at every week, and she was indeed very surprised. we went to ferris’ for a late lunch i had this vegetable penne chili chicken soup with rice dumplings…. so good. we walked around downtown, went to my mom’s, tried to decide what we would have for dinner until it got too late to go anywhere so we picked up a bunch of random stuff from thrifty’s and went to my place and my brother made up a plate of appetizers for us. after some drinks, cake, presents, and mario kart, my mom left around one or so and we went to sleep. then up early the next day for the metchosin farmer’s market. when i looked out the window, it looked like a warm, beautiful, sunny day. after getting dressed in a distinctly summery outfit and heading out, i discovered it was bitterly windy. we ended off with a mother’s day brunch at a pub and my brother headed out. my birthday was pretty non-existent, by the time i was done with my family it was dinner time, and my first chance all weekend to relax.

next year my birthday is not on mother’s day! will probably still be a non-event however.