Posts Tagged ‘goals’


home sweet trashhole.

May 29, 2008

so… i was GOING to go to yoga today, finally, but then keith offered the option of chinese buffet. regretfully, i chose the buffet. we did vow to never go there again anyway, due to the fact that there was nowhere to look that wasn’t depressing. it reminded me of america [or what i presume america to be having barely been there.] plus be going to a buffet is a pretty big joke because thankfully i get full in about two minutes. actually, being ‘out and about’ in langford today reminded me why i had such negative associations with it from when i lived out here in grade 10. i may have committed suicide if i had to spend grades 11 and 12 here! even as we were in the elevator back to our condo keith said ‘i just want to get out of langford and into our house!’ haha. it serves it’s purpose anyway, and generally when i go out i am pleasantly surprised at the general friendly, non-trash i come across.

in any case, i HAVE TO go to yoga on saturday. tomorrow night i have to go to my mom’s for dinner and sunday i will hopefully be hung over for the first time in quite a while, after brittani’s boyfriend’s birthday. i hate how i am starting to feel like ‘i am so fat, wah wah’ when i have been feeling generally good about myself in recent memory. i blame it on beginning to be aware of my body, as well as seeing all the perfect naked yoga ladies in the change room! in any case, it is really unfortunate, because i seem to be fairly unable to maintain good habits. i will keep trying though! even though i don’t actually control very well what i put into my body, i do think about it, which is strange in the sense that i never did at all before a year or two ago, and now i really think about it.

here are some old pictures [i just unpacked the cord.]


at ferris’…s…s… goddamnit, that is one of those easy grammatical things i will always forget how to do properly and feel like an idiot for. anyway, that soup was amazing, except for it being entirely cilantro-ridden… i hate cilantro so very much. but it has these rice dumplings that were so effing good. that’s right, so good i have to be vulgar and say effing. also i love the mayo sampler you can order with the fries, three different mayos, the thai peanut one is good.

i had to capture the awesomeness of this at the metchosin farmer’s market… because i am mean.

yes, only go out on the strongest note.

the height of entertainment in the…. when is this from? 19th century?

buck 65… before the show started, just before my camera ran out of batteries! so sad.

oh, and in a good note:

Touring musician Buck 65 was ecstatic when he learned yesterday that nearly 100 hours of video footage stolen from his May 8 concert at Alix Goolden Performance Hall has been recovered.

[His manager] said she had almost given up hope the mini-DV tapes would ever be found. Then someone called the office to let her know someone had posted an ad on a Victoria buy-and-sell website for the missing footage.

That someone turned out to be post office employee Steven Sanders, who found a manila envelope filled with the concert footage beside a mailbox on the side of the highway in Colwood. Across the envelope was written “Missing Buck 65 Footage.”

Not knowing who Buck 65 was, Sanders placed the ad with his e-mail address. He also made posters with his son, which he was going to put up around the neighbourhood. Before he had a chance, Sanders got an e-mail from Buck 65’s friends.

“He e-mailed back: ‘Tell me what’s in the envelope and it’s yours,'” Persley said. She then sent him a photo of tapes similar to the stolen ones.

“When the footage was stolen, it was a huge blow against a big effort,” said Persley. “It was big money-wise. There were props, sets, lighting visual effects to create a great show so we could shoot this DVD. It was absolutely irreplaceable and invaluable.”

source: tc

i swear, they must have spent at least like… $350 dollars on that equipment. :P


ah, guilt, my old friend.

May 28, 2008

i am feeling horribly guilty this week. i just haven’t had the motivation to go to yoga. it is not even as if there is anything i would rather be doing at home. i just haven’t had any energy as of yet… or i am telling myself i don’t have the energy. last night i went to bed at 9.30 with a bad headache and had nightmares. i blame this all on cutting out coffee this week as well. not really but it’s nice to have an excuse other than sheer laziness.


just when i thought i could do it….

May 18, 2008

bikram yoga murdered me yesterday. it was pathetic. my first class during the warm weather…. [victoria seems to be getting a wet season and a dry season, and the transition occurs in the blink of an eye. i can’t believe how much i struggled. it was way harder than my first class. i hit the wall usually reserved for 75 minutes in about 60 minutes in this time. and this one i could not just rest briefly and work my way through. i lay down and every time i would get up and try to practice a posture, the overwhelming, oppressive feeling of bursting into tears and running out of the room would consume me. i know i shouldn’t let myself get defeated, but this is the first time i have seriously thought, can i make myself go back there? sigh.

keith’s parents are coming today to stay with us… i really like them but i think it will be awkward as hell! must go prepare for that.


bikram, bikram, you evil genius…

May 15, 2008

attended my third class yesterday. it seems to be somehow getting more difficult. but i believe that is because i have the expectation that it should be getting easier… i mean it’s my third try and it’s not a breeze yet? since it is not getting noticeably easier, especially because i am probably pushing myself slightly harder each time, i find it a bit frustrating. all i wish for is that there is not that point 20 minutes from the end of class where i go FUCK THIS FUCKING SHIT, I CAN’T DO IT ANY MORE! I HATE THIS! NEVER COMING BACK! and i lie through a couple of postures. i am afraid i might never get too a point where i FEEL it is bearable [it obviously IS bearable in reality, because i do not die or run out of the room screaming.] if it is always this tough i don’t know if i have the self-discipline to keep going back. that is the challenge i suppose. it is really the ultimate challenge of willpower to me… obviously everyone struggles at first because it isn’t easy or comfortable. but some of my absolute most hated things in the world are heat, summertime, sweating, etc. i generally avoid these things at all cost. in any case, i have to take at least 20 classes, unless i want to waste a bunch of money… so that should give me enough time to determine whether it really is for me. my neck did not have that strange excruciatingly tight sensation after practice last night, so i must be making a little progress.

i find it amusing how even after i have cooled down, had a shower, i am pouring with sweat for hours after, even if i am cold. it feels like a clean sweat though, in a way, if that makes any sense. i am at least drinking more water than i ever have in my life so that must be a good thing. i should also mention that i feel really, really good today.

the 26 postures aka: 90 minutes of hell

i realized this time there is a clock in the room. which is not a good thing. i held off looking at it as long as i possible could, and finally peeked at 75 minutes into class… those last 15 minutes were the longest.

and i HATE that i am one of those annoying yoga people now. i never wanted to do yoga, but with always trying to keep in mind being anti-trend is just as silly as being trendy, i tried it and found it really is worthwhile. anyway, it’s not like i am forcing yoga on people but whenever i hear people complaining about sore muscles, back problems, i have to mention yoga with the intention of truly helping, because i know how frustrating it is to have chronic pain. i don’t suggest bikram to people even, but i know they must roll their eyes, like i probably would have! i am not trying to spread the gospel of yoga, i am just sick of hearing you complain about sore shoulders!

and i would LOVE to get back to being this tiny!

ah, sweet sweet 2002. actually it sorta sucked and i kinda hated myself… i was an idiot.


May 6, 2008

i actually drove! in a car! in traffic! and i am not dead!

pretty accomplished week so far, and it’s only tuesday!

aside from at work, which even though i have a massive amount to do, i just can’t seem to motivate myself to do ANYTHING.


time’s arrow.

April 3, 2008

a while ago someone i went to high school with in grades 8/9 sent me a message on my ‘honesty box’ on my facebook profile. i really like this application, you can leave anonymous messages for people. surprisingly none of them have been nasty yet. infact i got a few confessions of lust and admiration, but this is not the sole reason that i like the application.

anyway once i figured out who it was we ended up somehow sharing some of our items on our lists of things we want to do before we die. mine are mostly sadly debaucherous, or just plain dorky.

i have always wanted to go to the wax museum on mushrooms. i think it would be scary but amazing, considering how surreal the place is on it’s own.

mummies scare me a lot.

looks slightly unpleasant…

mangiest mange beasts ever.

even in wax form she’s kind of a slut

goldie hawn looks pretty hilarious here

i think this frightening image encapsulates the wax museum for me

no… i’m fairly certain that’s the eighth and lesser known dwarf, ‘creepy’

clearly he is stealing your soul.

yes, i would say the title of ‘cell of little ease’ is somewhat appropriate

quite possible the scariest alice in wonderland themed thing ever. i love the look on the caterpillars face. ‘meh’

you can tell she played the tin man in her earlier years in a stage production of wizard of oz, can’t you?

my marathon of hope.


goals of 2008.

January 14, 2008

i used to want a vespa very badly. i still do. however with the abundance of genuine and faux-vintage scooters around these days, i am almost thinking of getting something a little different.

first things first, i must conquer a lifelong fear of driving. i am sure i will be able to do it. since i was a child i have always helped my mother to navigate and in turn paid a lot of attention to what is going on on the road. i feel uncomfortable when i am in a car if i am not paying attention to the traffic in front of me. i finally got my learner’s last january. that means i am technically able to get my [nearly] full license now. however, i have never driven. i don’t know why i am so apprehensive. it seems like such a huge responsibility. then i remind myself there are probably a lot less intelligent and responsible people out there on the roads… if they can do it i can do it. i have been saying that long enough though, and now it’s a matter of doing.

i do not really want my cat to be dead, nor will i steal matt good’s dog. it is just that he is a cute dog, so i would like to get one similar. also, i would feel guilty getting a dog which my cat would certainly hate. in any case, i can’t really work full time and leave my dog at home alone all day, so i am not sure how i am going to go about it. but i am getting sick of owning a dog being a lifelong unattainable goal! can only independently wealthy people own dogs?

goals of 2008.

i think i should be a graphic designer. for sure.