so old.

so i woke up this morning with my neck worse than it was last week. anyone who heard me ‘oww!’ing and ‘ooh!’ing in the shower this morning would have laughed, which would have been incredibly cruel as i was/am in intense pain. of course i am obviously stressed; i wonder if it was actual physical exertion, or just the associated stress that has done this to me? also i had nightmares so unspeakably disturbing i cannot even share their events. i wonder if this was due to me being in pain while i was asleep and it manifesting in my subconscious, or if it was the dream that cause me to toss and turn to the point of neck injury?

in any case, i am so looking forward to the masseuse on monday. even though it hurts more after for a day or so, it feels so unbelievably good at the time.

i am not too upset about the neck situation impeding my efficiency at packing and cleaning; i will do what i can do and no more [or so i like to tell myself.] but i was supposed to go out and have a good time for brittani’s birthday on saturday night… if i can’t take this bi-yearly opportunity to actually dance i will be kind of disappointed.

at least i got an email from my aunt telling me how bad she feels she did not come over to help in the process, and how i am the greatest daughter of all time for stepping up and going above and beyond. [not that that helps the job be done any more, but at least people recognize when i am doing things i don't have to.]  i have a funny feeling i won’t be receiving a similar email from my brother, who likes to take every chance he can to guilt me when i am not what he deems a good family member.

jan 28th/29th dream.

i was in montreal. at a movie theatre, and for some reason everyone inside was asian. the cute-ish asian serving me at the refreshment bar was really nice to everyone of the same race around her but was rude to me, barely acknowledging me, even going so far as to spill nacho ‘cheese’ on my shirt sleeve. needless to say i was enraged, and tried to take note of her name tag but alas she did not have one. i went to the theatre, alone, sitting in the front row. the film was eastern promises and that horrid michael rappaport was the star. expectedly, it was terribly shitty. just as many people decided the film was terrible and decided to leave, it ended in some stupid inconclusive [haha me: what do you call something that like... has no conclusion? keith: inconclusive] way. i left the theatre and went and complained to the asian owners. they were very mad at their daughter and poured hot butter all over her. they then gave her a banana and said ‘we shall never speak of this again. she said ’speak of what?’ and ate her banana.

i went outside, still alone, to try and get home. it was slushy outside and i slid on the sidewalk, bumping into a passing occupied taxi. there were two passing uber insane hipster dudes, and i said ’sorry’ as i think i also bumped into one of them. they said ‘that’s okay.’ they were trying to no avail to hail a taxi cab along the street. ‘i think we should try to get the bus, you can’t hail taxis here.’ one said to the other. ‘the metro station is a few blocks up that way!’ i informed them. ‘we know that… we live here.’ they said, judging me in their uber insane hipster dude way. ‘oh, sorry.’ i apologized again. ‘you said sorry before… god… is that all you say?’

does this mean i am racist and insecure… or something?

the realization of cat.

tonight i only have true art to share with you.

i will be slightly more interesting once this week is over, i swear it.

50% sexy

it is so funny being a girl. i am a lot more confident and secure these days in comparison to how i once was, thank goodness. however it seems the nature of being a woman, or perhaps just being a person, that one cannot be too happy with oneself, namely in the department of appearance. i have a full-length mirror at the foot of my bed and it seems 50% of the time when i get out of the shower in the morning i go ‘eww, who is that?’ and the other 50% of the time i go ‘holy hot shit, that is the epitome of sexy!’ i wonder what these vast differences in perception on a daily basis can be attributed to.

as i said, i am not a creature of happy mediums. it at least works out well 50% of the time!

i wish i was moving instead.

sorry i have not been successful at updating much. i am currently in the process of helping my mother get packed to move. didn’t get to do much of interest this weekend.

moving is generally a stressful occurrence; unfortunately with my mom it goes so far beyone that i can’t even convey. it happens on thursday and we are not even close to being done. no one else in my family is helping us. granted, they live in vancouver… but i am the only one left! on thursday i will breathe one giant sigh of relief. if i am delinquent until then, many apologies.

further proof i am lame.

i am very excited right now… i have to make a brochure for a fund raising event for my mom’s organization and i was really not looking forward to using photoshop to do a shitty job, being really annoyed with word 2003, or having to learn corel draw. luckily someone who i am not allowed to talk about is doing something i am not allowed to talk about which involves having to become familiar with office 2007. surprisingly it seems actually pretty sweet. they have a program called publisher with brochure templates… i know that sort of thing is cheating but why do things the hard way when you don’t have to, in this day in age? now this is going to be so easy and not look like crap.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!

alright, it’s probably lame how excited i am about this, but i don’t care.

star trek the tour.

i can’t find much information on line so i hope i don’t miss it when tickets go on sale!!!!!!!!!!

sweet, sweet odo face slash deep space nine.

perverts = smart, christians ≠ smart

check it out, i am smart because i am reading and thoroughly enjoying lolita.

i like when graphs tell me i am smart, as well as other dirty perverts.

although i have not read farenheit 451, i am surprised that it makes you dumb.

i also like how not reading at all leaves you better off than if your favourite book is the bible, but not the book of mormon, curiously.

[click to enlarge -- the graph is based on sat scores.]

source: http://booksthatmakeyoudumb.virgil.gr/

edit:: damnit, keith just said that he got this from boing boing. check out this funny thing someone has already pointed out as funny.

thoughts on a friday afternoon.

it is so funny how much we control our mental state; our mood, or motivation level, etc, when it at times can seem something that is so beyond our grasp. i was having one of those days where i was just lethargic, could not focus on my work, was freezing cold, staring at the computer screen. i managed to waste the first half of the day like this and then decided ‘i am now going to work and have energy.’ i turned on my music, made myself some coffee, got moving, and relentlessly worked. [only so relentlessly of course as now i am writing this.]

anyway this doesn’t seem like much of a revelation, but i shall keep it in mind next time i am thinking ‘why am i having such a crappy day?’ the answer is: myself. and now i am actually sweating; i am certainly not a creature of happy mediums.

your favourite trippy algae things may actually be useful.

that’s correct, your old friend the diatom isn’t just for staring at while you’re really stoned anymore.

nimble asian fingers.

my first professional massage ever. felt so good at the time but now my shoulder hurts so much worse. i have to go back a couple more times… him working ’scar tissue’ out does not sound good… in the verbal way nor the sickening popping at the point of massage. at the time i wondered if erotic transference occurs a lot with masseuses.

he was pretty much like issei.

not really i just wanted an excuse to post issei.

frite alors!

sweet my photo is in an online travel guide thing.

girl-time.

our sweet chinatown alley.

genius cut short.

heath ledger is dead. that is… weird i guess…

he was totally sweet like that.

douchebag alert.

someone has been idling their giant massive truck in the middle of the parking lot [outside my door] for an hour, i shit you not. it is driving me insane. it’s not just one of those douchebaggishly large pickup trucks either… it’s like a giant motor home moving truck thing. he really needs to die. do people just enjoy being annoying fuck faces?

the only person i can appreciate a moustache on.

i had every intention of posting my pictures from the weekend but when i got to work i realized i only got around to uploading half of them last night. too many rum and cokes do not an efficient blogger make.

so for now i will just share my joy in watching magnum pi.i from the beginning. i finally managed to show keith this is a quality show. it’s all about the plot, nothing to do with magnum in short shorts… i assure you. [if you believe this you are about as gullible as i am.]

Magnum was the first mass media character to flat out say, “We lost the war…” in Vietnam.

everyone enjoys a spanking.

this guy is super creepy.

and boring stuff about my own cat!

about as political as i’ll get.

newsflash: obama eats too many carrots in an attempt to win the ever crucial taproot vote.

or is it the yellow bastard vote?

keith thinks that comparison will offend my many, many readers.

the street part seventy-two.

yes, finally the liam connor dream i desired. [well sort of.] me and him and his brother paul were making a very dramatic escape through an urban setting to avoid an asian gang that was after us. we were trying to figure out what movie hero would be the best to aid us. i was saying “we could go the route of spiderman or batman and all that crap… or maybe that guy from the matrix?” as i have not seen the matrix it turned out after we called them their style or projectile cyber-fighting involved too many innocent casualities. there was mention of us having been intimate and although that didn’t provide quite the “mindfuck” i had desired, at least i know my dream-self is good for it and can pull that shit.

sweet outfit.